i think of This Is It
by Pandastacia
Summary: And the heart is hard to translate. NaruSaku!friendship/coworkers; SasuSaku


**Notes:** Inspired by last night's episode of NCIS: NO (24 March 2015). Summary from "All This and Heaven Too" by Florence + the Machine. SasuSaku; NaruSaku!friendship coworkers.

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_"When I think of you, I think of future stuff. I think of _this is it_ and I'm not supposed to think _this is it_ at my age. I don't look at you and think nice. I look at you and think, oh my God, I want to hold her and never let go. I think, sex - right here, right now -"_

\- Will Trombal, _Saving Francesca_ by Melina Marchetta

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Lilies.

Sakura chewed on the corner of her thumbnail.

Calla lilies.

She didn't take her eyes off the blooms placed dead center on her desk, not even when her partner tackled her side.

"Hey, Sak - whoa, nice buds." Naruto wrapped an arm around her neck and peered down at the simple fluted vase. "Your favorites, right?"

Motherfucking dark calla lilies.

"Apparently, that is common knowledge." She fingered the petals. Blossoms like blown glasses filled to the brim with Merlot, tainted angelic horns.

Elegant.

Romantic.

Misnomers.

His face didn't reach pensive, but it was near thoughtful. "I don't think so, but - okay, I was at Ino's to get flowers for - " he paused, but before Sakura could ask for whom, he shook his head and continued. "Anyway, I got to chatting with Ino, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"And every time some 'stud' walked in," Naruto did his patent _oh my gawd_ expression, complete with frozen jazz hands, "she'd 'happen' to wander by these and go, "Hey, do you know who would _love_ to get a bouquet of these?""

Sakura's head whipped so fast to look at Naruto her braid swung hard into the side of her neck. "She _didn't_."

"Wouldn't she?"

Turning to look at the flowers with further trepidation, Sakura wondered which Takashi, Daisuke, or Hatori sent them. Also if there was something in the girl code that would excuse her from responsibility of murdering her best friend by legal standards - after all, didn't this count as some form of prostitution?

Secondary concern: what were the chances Naruto would help her dispose of the evidence?

Naruto watched her take out her cell phone. She heard him swallow hard when she sent send.

_you are so roasted, pig_

She stuffed her phone into her back pocket.

"It's not like she would've allowed just any guy send you flowers, right?" Naruto rubbed her back. "No serial killers or anything. Bet she'd totally vet them out first."

Sakura snorted. "With what, a quiz from Cosmo?"

Her phone vibrated.

_I thought u _liked_ him, forehead. MAKE UP UR DAMN MIND._

Well. Sakura set her phone on the stack of files closest to her. "So I know him. It is either…"

Naruto bent over the screen. "Probably either the bastard or your ex, huh?"

Sighing, she brushed her bangs out of her face. "I thought you thought they're both bastards."

"They are, the _whole_ family, so 'snot exactly a unique identifier. Personally, I don't think they're good enough for you, but that is a high bar to meet." He winked at her. "I'm also not the one they want to bone."

She punched his arm.

"Ow!" He rubbed at the spot. "Fine! I'm not the one who can't decide who she wants to fuck."

She threw him a dirty look. "Not helping, Uzumaki."

"Wasn't really trying to, although…" Naruto walked around her desk and pulled an envelope out from underneath the vase. "Maybe this will."

Taking it from him, Sakura leaned a hip against the desk. Well, this made things easier - at least, it removed anonymity from the situation. She studied the cream paper and Ino's cursive on the front before turning the envelope over and sliding her finger between the familiar wax seal and the lipfold. She didn't pull the letter out. Not yet.

"Who do you _think_ sent the flowers?" Naruto poked a pale pistil.

"Sasuke or, you know…" Sakura waved a hand.

Naruto flopped into Sakura's chair and sank a little into the seat cushion and its plush back. "His cousin."

"Yeah, Shisui…"

Naruto was quiet, watching her stroke the smooth stationary, considering.

Sasuke. Late nights studying in college, early morning walks to elementary school, playdates in the neighborhood sandbox. They… they hadn't lasted, hadn't seen each other in _years_. There had been reasons, including but not limited to his business overseas - according to The Economist, he was coordinating the IPO with his father, brother, the board of directors, and whatnot for the end of the month. Always had been really busy, starting after high school graduation.. Sparklers that burned the wrong way, scarred the hands that held them; something like that. They'd gone their own ways and Sakura tried to never look back.

Not until he walked the LEO bar she and Naruto frequented, him in his Armani suit and them in their nicest business casual.

Much more likely to be Shisui; his team had been out of the country on military assignment for the past month and just got back last week. He'd taken her out two nights ago for nice seafood and candlelight out on the pier. They understood each other's work - the exasperating and multi-faced puzzle of law enforcement. He was a chocolate-and-surprise-dinner kind of guy.

"Hey, Sak?"

"Yeah?"

Naruto ruffled the back of his head, "Who," he cleared his throat, crossed his arms, shuffled his feet, "who do you want the flowers to be from?"

Sakura eased the letter into her palm where it sat, folded, and she hesitated. Who did she expect the declaration - of love, of affection, who knows, the answer is in the letter, everything is in the

\- but what if it is love? If this was the end all, be all of someone else's heart, whose would she want to cradle in her hand? Who would she want to hold?

Sasuke was… his pleasure, his "vivacity", for lack of a better word, was pale and delicate and effulgent to the point she wondered sometimes if he was capable of it. Sensitive, even if it would kill him to hear it, and their heat could melt a galaxy of stars.

Shisui? He was fun, effervescent, bounding. He made her laugh, he didn't make her cry, the sex was good, he was very uncomplicated, they looked _very_ good together, their parents knew each other and got on...

Finger settled in the crease, she was a split-second from opening it and she saw it - like a coin flip, her feelings hovering half-formed in the air on its way to its future, and just before it hit the ground, before she could open the letter all the way, she knew.

She stuffed the letter back in its envelope, crooked and a little crumpled, grabbed her coat off the coat rack and pulled it on. "I gotta go take care of something - if we get a case, text me. I'll get back to you… later."

As she ran for the elevator, she heard Naruto yell, "Tell the bastard I said hello!"

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She did a Google search at a red light to make sure he still lived in the same house.

He did.

She parked across the street from the nice old colonial with pale green shutters, nice porch swing, and perfectly landscaped lawn.

Standing on his doorstep, she was hyperaware of all the hair that had escaped her braid, how breathless and messy she was from the furious drive over with the hood down despite the wind. Pressed his doorbell and waited, patted her hair down and finger-combed it neat.

No one answered for a minute, so she hit the button again.

She drew her coat tighter around her, wondering if he was even home. The light on the upper story had been on when she'd approached -

And there went the light in the staircase, his footsteps against old wood floor.

And then the door was open.

Sasuke looked surprised, but not much else was different. He was white open-collared shirt, sleeves folded to his elbows, and dark slacks and slicked back hair.

Before he could say anything, she stepped back. It was more of a shift than a step. She was always prepared to be disappointed by him, she thought, being disappointed was a gut reaction when it came to him. Yet here she stood and he was looking at her. "You don't send flowers, do you?"

He tilted his head, hands deep in his pockets as he gazed at her in that deep penetrating manner that had always unnerved her, had always - "No, I don't."

She tossed her braid over her shoulder. Her eyes were hungry in their study of his face, the unfamiliarly deep bags under his eyes, the cut of his cheekbones, the softness of his mouth. "You're not the sort."

"That bothers you."

Her cheeks heated up. "It did. Used to."

A pause, a lull, a little bit more than a little uncomfortable… She wondered if she should just leave. This was so stupid. Dangling her foot above the next step down and fixing her gaze on the swing on his patio, Sakura said, "I just -"

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

She nodded, throat tight.

He backed against the oak door. "Do you want to come in, Sakura?"

Sakura bit her lip, glanced in and saw the familiar curved banister, plush red carpeting up the stairs. Looked at him, saw the hesitancy, the apprehension, the small spot of hope.

She smiled. "Of course, Sasuke."

As she closed to red door behind her, Sakura pressed her lips together, trying to deter the schoolgirl grin from making an appearance. Perhaps Shisui would be uncomplicated and the sex is good and they are nice, but...

Her gaze followed Sasuke into his kitchen, where his mother used to make them after-school snacks and laugh as they threw cookie dough at each other.

... why settle for nice?

Right here, right now.

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Plugging shamelessly - read my favorite book, quoted above. You shall never regret it.


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